Jeff the Drunk Is Off Government Assistance but Back on the Phone to Complain About Airtime

Same complaint, different day. An irate Jeff the Drunk called into the Stern Show Wednesday morning to yell at Howard yet again about not picking up his calls.

“You picked up on King, you picked up on Erik, you picked up on Bobo, you picked up on Mariann … you don’t pick up on me,” Jeff said before his voice rose to a shout. “You know damn well I’m part of the fucking show.”

“This is not a democracy where everyone gets equal time,” Howard explained to Jeff of the phone screening process. “When you get a ‘Jeff the Drunk Show’ you can pick up on who you want. I don’t always pick up on you and you’ve got to deal with it.”

“It’s called ‘The Howard Stern Show’ … Howard talks to who he wants to talk to. End of story,” Robin said in defense of her longtime partner.

After Jeff expressed his displeasure that Howard incorrectly said he was still on government assistance while not pointing out that fellow Wack Packer High Pitch Erik is, Erik called in to hash it out with his rival. “Why don’t you mind your own fucking business about me and worry about your fucking self, you fucking dickface,” he said angrily.

“This is more civil than the presidential debate,” Howard joked after the two adversaries went back and forth.

With Erik still on the phone, Howard debuted his new High Pitch Erik puppet – the latest addition to the show’s collection. “I love it, the High Pitch Erik puppet has yellow teeth,” Robin observed.

When Howard noted that the manufacturer made the puppet as large as possible, staffer Shuli Egar detailed what that means as its operator. “Shuli’s arm is dying and ready to fall off, that’s how heavy this fucking puppet is,” he complained while managing to stay in character.